Our quarantine

It’s been over a month and we just got notice in Illinois stay in place is being extended into May. School has been canceled for the year and softball has been cancelled as well.

We are trying to do our best with what we have. Dan and I are still working, babies are stir crazy as we usual take them everywhere with us and they haven’t left the house, with the exception of a walk here or there, since this started. Chloe was in Arizona for a little while but is home now and trying her hardest to figure out this new way of learning. Chloe is not the easiest teenager to deal with and I’m sure she would say the same thing about me as a mom, but we will figure it out( as soon as she starts talking to me again) Brianna is doing a little better with school but I think it’s because 5th grade teachers aren’t pushing the kids as hard as the high school teachers are pushing their students.

Home life is taking some getting used to, giving each other space, interacting with each other more than usual, trying to come up with activities so we aren’t watching Netflix all day(we have definitely done that too though). Right before this hit Dan and I had a serious talk about our budget and how we need to eat at home more, our restaurant spending was way out of control. So we’ve been eating more at home. Which means trips to Costco because a family of 6 goes through eggs, cereal, meat, and snacks rather quickly. Costco has become “date night” it’s the only time Dan and I are without any child. And although it’s strange walking in to see the masks, the signs limiting how much you can buy, and the 6 foot instructions it’s still a chunk of time I look forward to.

We don’t know what the future holds, what will happen with my work, what will happen with Dans work, we know when school will be over, and unfortunately have heard that starting in the fall may not happen which I won’t think about till it happens. Chloe and Brianna still want to go to Boston for some of the summer so figuring that out as well will be tough. The family reunion is in talks of being cancelled and that’s hard to deal with but completely understandable considering the largest chunk of attendance is from the senior ages.

For now we go day by day, try not to get to negative. Try not to let the bad influence the good. I have a friend who just had a baby, 2 friends who are pregnant and a friend trying. Miracles are happening all over and I try to live in that. My family has started weekly zoom meetings and although for the most part I just sit back and listen, it’s nice to see most of the family get together and just shoot the shit.

I’m not saying I don’t have bad days, or we don’t have bad days as a family. For those of you who don’t have littles at home let me tell you, it’s hard to explain to their little minds why they can’t go out why they can’t visit grandma and grandpa(who live 2 blocks away). It’s hard to grasp the idea that work may change our day to day life significantly soon. It’s hard to stay positive when my brain already immediately leans to the negative. Talking to my mom yesterday I said this quarantine has been great for my depression because I don’t have to fake my smiles, or have conversations with people when my head just can’t that day. I can just sit in my darkness some days. And the worst part is even as I write this I want to erase it because I sound ungrateful and whiny. But these are my thoughts I don’t feel like now in these times I should be worried about censoring myself.

On the positive I’ve been coming up with new recipes, healthy, and not so healthy. Hoping my laptop allows me to upload some!

I love you whoever is reading this XOXO, we will get through this, we may not be in the same boat, or dealing with the same things, but we will make it through. Be safe and be smart.

I love you Grandma Jane! ❤️❤️❤️

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